friendships and blessings

clairezy and i were having another one of those intense TOG conversations that we have been having since she started reading the book and fell in love with it. then it spiralled into me realizing that she actually has a secret blog and then we exchanged urls, something that i realized is a first for me. i don’t think any of my friends my age actually has a blog now or maybe i just never asked. after all i think half of my close friends still don’t even know about this wordpress.

i ended up binge reading her dayre and then i felt inspired to write. i was thinking of how our friendship was so unexpected and i really love how we text so often, even if it always ends up becoming a TOG gushing marathon of how we need a love like rowan and aelin. if you’re reading this, please read the throne of glass series. it’s amazing and beats harry potter hands down, and this is coming from a true harry potter fan who already owns all the books but still paid $60 to buy another set because “i want to own the series with the kids edition covers” if you’re sick of male leads and are into female leads who don’t take shit from males and know how to stand up for themselves… this book is 10/10!!! actually why am i even recommending it when only maximum 10 of my friends know this blog hahaha

i went off tangent again. i am always rambling, it’s a consistent thing on this wordpress.

my shower thoughts consisted of me making mental lists of the friendships i have now and realizing that i’m so thankful for the friendships that i have in my life right now. i also realized that over the years i let some friendships go and placed less value in some, and sometimes i do think “maybe i should made more effort” or “i shouldn’t have been too quick to let that friendship slip away” but what’s done is done and i’m thankful to God for clearly putting some people in my life and letting them stay

primary school: none
secondary school: char and jo
karate: wei and ya ting
jc: rach bb, theo, lyndi, zihui, sherrie, haein
uni: zijie, syl, weiyun, clairezy, zit, emz and ezzy
internship: qianhua, qiantong, sam and chim

and it’s really not about lists or being cautiously selective, i think i just realized over the years that when people matter, you make time for them. and most importantly, that friends that you used to love and always thought would be there in your life forever could really eventually leave and end up being a stranger. i’m 24 this year and there’s only 21 on this list, there are some friendships there that are certainly stronger than the ones that are newer, but i think these are the friends that i would really want to keep in my life and i really hope to strengthen these friendships and that in 5 years time all their names will still be on there.

there’s been a lot of friendships that i’ve lost over the years, names that used to appear in this wordpress however vaguely or not and i’ve made mistakes before of putting my pride first / not making enough effort in friendships that i assumed would always be strong / putting my relationships first over my friendships.

i went for my first cell group in 11 years last saturday and it was a reflection session. one of the questions was “what are some areas that you want to improve in your personal life?” and i didn’t write it down then, but i would add now that i’m really going to strive to be a better friend to those who really matter in my heart.

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