is this normal

i sit cross legged on his floor and then slowly stretch my legs out as the environment gets more familiar and more comfortable. my eyelids are heavy and i think i could fall asleep anytime if i wanted to. somebody brings a bag of fries and i realise that i am hungry and my hands keep reaching out towards the bag of lukewarm goodness. i sit diagonally opposite him and i feel out of place. i shouldn’t have stayed. again, i am watching him smile, laugh and talk to others from a different lens. i wonder what conversational topics are exchanged when he is not with me, i wonder if he is the same person and when the night is done, i feel hollow. i don’t like big gatherings. but i am aware of this difference in my myself as well; i am someone when i am with him and i am someone else when we are not together.

who am i and who is this person sleeping next to me?


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