eleven months ago i declared my independence and when i heard the sound of those four syllables, i felt proud and self-assured. i was like the latest iOS version; with updates, upgrades but admittedly never the best possible version.
and now. i thumb through the pages of fictional characters, aware of the present irony, trying to feel at peace with this loneliness, feel at ease at being in my own skin and that my identity belongs to me. it is difficult to make the same declaration i did eleven months ago with the same amount of definiteness and i think often i find myself deliberitely wanting to detach and be aloof because it makes me feel less vulnerable.
it’s frightening how dependent you can be on people.