such a fool

i haven’t felt this vulnerable before (or at least, not in a very long time); so open and willingly allowing myself to let another person use words as a convenient way to cast uncertainty within my heart. tonight i find myself trying to replay the afternoon tapes and reanalyzing the reactions, facial expressions and how it was borderline disconcerting that it was really a classic case of hearing vs. listening. now i know what all of it meant and i can’t help but feel extremely frivolous, judged and that the whole notion of being that comfortable with someone is really nothing but an illusion.

i’d really like to be alone for a while.

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