lis(t)lis

the first time mian came up to me this afternoon he asked if i was okay and said that i looked gloomy. brushed it off and replied that it was probably fatigue. and then before he left he said again that something about me was a little off today. it’s a little nice (and also kind of contradictory to how i am feeling) actually that somebody realized.

this feels like a recurring event. feeling disconnected and extremely detached from people. and sometimes it feels like i am another person. last night i finished chapter one of my philosophy textbook and basically it was about digging and delving deeper, constantly questioning to understand the reason behind our thoughts, decisions, beliefs etc. so there probably is an explanation behind this growing detachment and usually i feel like i would want to understand the reason behind shutting off or wanting to shut off

but tonight is different.

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