ni hao dan gao

this whole week moved too quickly. started out the week by sleeping earlier than my usual 2/3am because the cny period made me readjust my sleeping time. still a little conflicted on whether this is a good thing because good thing: reduction in my panda eyes but bad thing: i lose out 2 hours of studying time. this week was also the first time that someone pointed out my eye bags ‘eh charmaine you got eye bags’ and just a few years ago i remember proudly proclaiming that i am not susceptible to getting eye bags. told m about it (that someone said i have eye bags) and he told me ‘you always had them what’ the saddest thing is that i never knew and that he said it in a matter-of-factly way. i think subconsciously that resulted in me eating two apples last night in an attempt to be healthy and to level up my current complexion and also why i seem to be sleeping earlier this week

i was going to write this paragraph differently but i realised that i wanted to write about this year’s chinese new year first

never been a big fan of chinese new year. there was always a limit as to how much chinese new year goodies you can stuff your mouth with so chinese new year snacks isn’t really much of a highlight. (on a side note – when will they ever sell pineapple tarts without pineapples???) but this year was different. firstly i think i honestly looked forward to that 3 days of holiday. during a conversation with my cousin’s girlfriend i remember telling her how much i never really looked forward to holidays because i actually liked or didn’t mind spending time in school, but this time round i was really dying to have a holiday. and i think that really made me realise what a quantum leap university life has been from junior college. i would say that i am much happier though because i find more value in what i am learning although the workload is really pure shit at times

also i never thought i would feel homesick but i am

you never really think about how good food is at home until you survive on a whole week of school canteen food

this week i put down another two commitments on my commitment list. something which is stark in contrast when i compare this semester to my *~*~*zen*~*~* mantra i adopted last semester to commit minimally to school or outside activities. honestly i don’t know what i’m doing because this semester’s workload is truly insane and i feel drained out with every friday. but opportunities only come once and i decided to take both opportunities. first being signing up for conjunct – which although i had already mentally committed myself to last wednesday night – is something that i think will be a really valuable experience and the skills to be learnt are something that i place high value in. then on thursday i remember zj casually asking me if i want to join sbcc with two of our other og friends and i think instinctively i am used to saying ‘no’ but something in me held back. i remember weighing all my current commitments – the insane school work, sports and conjunct – and then wondering if i am up for it. i don’t know how else to say this but i felt that i heard God tell me to rely on His strength and honestly i am going to need a lot of faith and trust that God will bring me through the next ten weeks

everything feels honestly daunting – also i use the word ‘honestly’ way too often – but i can’t help but feel excited for what’s to come and there’s something about a packed calendar filled with activities that makes me feel strangely accomplished

here’s to a good 10 weeks ahead

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