feel the need to put this down into words, not that today had been anything close to monumental, just feel like it’s something i would want to remember
this morning i woke up even before my alarm sounded, washed up and halfway through packing my bag the dull pain in my abdomen became sharp convulsing pains that had me curl my back up and despite all the times where i said or joked ‘i don’t want to sit for the paper’ i really ended up missing my two prelim papers for the day
slept again from 8-1130. this defence mechanism (that is, just sleeping) against flu cough fever etc etc usually works but it failed me for the first time today. as i got out of the house and walked possibly the longest 2 or 3 minutes of my life to the lrt, my feet felt a little too light and by the time i reached the lrt i felt like i wasn’t going to make it to the clinic
there was a little indian girl sitting on the reserved seat in the train and she smiled at me. but i just stared at her thinking ‘i can’t faint now’ by the time i stepped out of the train my entire vision played a 2 minute disappearing act and was replaced by bright flashes of a hundred stars —– if you are still reading at this point of time, no i am honestly not exaggerating or making this sound as lyrical or dramatic as i make it out to be —— thinking to myself (or shouting because my thoughts are no longer in small alphabets) ‘OH GOD I CAN’T SEE I CAN’T SEE’
still i managed to walk to the lift hoping somebody would press the button to the first level but nobody does. so i end up exiting at the MRT platform level, which was actually a blessing because i knew where the seats were located at. walked ~~15 seconds and fumbled around for the seat and sat down.
i remember thinking ‘what if the seats aren’t there’ and thinking that i would look like the joke of the day for falling down since there were no seats but ok i am rambling there were seats so all was good
throughout the 2 minutes of temporary blindness (not really blind-blind but honestly the stars made it difficult to see) i guess i could feel people staring at me, defensively thinking ‘hey you stop staring. what’s wrong with me walking so slowly?!!!!!!!’ it was only until i (miraculously made it in one piece) reached the clinic and slumped myself on the clinic chairs, the receptionists asked me ‘girl are you ok’ ‘you look so pale’ did i realise why everybody kept staring. i must have looked like i was going to pass out….. which somehow just seems a little funny to me. a 19 year old covered in cold sweat pale lips walking around half blind….. lol
after seeing the doctor and paying, the receptionists huddled in front of the counter and said i look a lot better than when i first came in, told me to drink more water and get more rest. one even passed me a handful of sweets before i left.
ok so that’s my story for the day
how i nearly passed out and how i lost my vision which honestly the latter was quite frightening
but i am thankful for being able to see
thank God for my sight
and congratulations if you read all of that ha haha ha ha ha