Monthly Archives: July 2012

what do i have to lose

but my heart


it isn’t the issue of who cares and who doesn’t,

i still do

is there really anything left to say

i think i have said enough. through words, subtle hints, longing – but what is it that i am longing for – glances, meaningless banters, a river (maybe many rivers) of salty tears, guarded eyes… don’t get me wrong. this isn’t another of those paragraphs softly saying ‘i miss you’


more of a ‘hi, hello’ that i won’t deny that you cross my mind a few times a day, in the beginning it felt like a hundred shoelaces weaving in and out of my old pair of converse shoes, sometimes it felt like thousands of shoelaces doing little crisscross motions in my mind

yet this time i stayed rooted on the ground, watch you walk away knowing i would not try to follow again


a year ago i took this dress out of my closet but ‘you’re still too skinny to wear this’ my mom said, so i placed it back and forgot about it; tucked behind the twenty++ dresses i already have. a week ago i rummaged through my closet thinking ‘i always wear the same dresses’ and then i found this again, put it on and walked out to the living room asking ‘so can i wear this now?’ my mom said yes and then my dad walked pass saying ‘hey this is nice’

she told me ‘i kept this dress after only wearing it once, knowing that one day i would save it for my daughter to wear’