eventually your name comes up. sometimes i try to pretend i haven’t heard it but in the end it still ends up in the usual summarized story just to avoid a string of questions or because i am simply tired of affirming that i am okay. i really am okay. we were two halves of a whole and now just halves on our own. ‘how is he’ usually comes before ‘what happened’, half the time i claim you are alright and in all honestly i really hope you are fine, and as for me i am done pretending. i lose myself to happiness to anger to love or i wrap myself up like a cocoon. the world is silent, nothing else exists in my mind. but things should not work this way. so now i pry myself from the layers of silk enveloping me, it feels like a breath of fresh air. the fact is that it was real, it happened and now it has passed. my mistake was in wanting to convince myself to forget, but the easiest way was to accept it

and let go

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